CAJudd's Xanga

To the Bravehearts...

Sun, 27 May 2007 22:58:40 GMT

I will never forget the first time I watched the movie Braveheart. I remember that I had some microwave popcorn in a bowl in my lap but I didn't eat it. Everything about it, from the story to the scenery, captivated and compelled me. It is still one of my favorite films. Above all, "FREEDOM!" the guttural scream of William Wallace's voice, still rings in my ears. But sitting here in front of my computer this evening, the word "freedom" echoes in a place much deeper.

Tonight I am contemplating Scotland. This is no mere fantasy of kilts, haggis, highlands, and golf; I am compelled with the heart of Scotland. Scotland, like many Northern European countries, is mired in a spiritual darkness that seemingly grows darker by the day. This oppression weighs especially heavy on the youth of Scotland. I've heard it said that the majority of teens in Scotland today are three generations removed from a knowledge of Christ. That means that if you asked the average teenager on the streets of Glasgow, they would have literally no point of reference in a discussion about Jesus Christ. Instead, teens are being bound by the chains of alcoholism, drugs, and sexual addiction with increasing regularity. Beautiful churches that once resounded with the praises of the everlasting God are being turned into night clubs and rock climbing facilities.

It was over two years ago that our Church's youth staff first felt a spiritual burden for the Scots. Since then, we have been diligent in praying for an opportunity for our youth ministry to bring the truth of the Gospel with the passion and power of the Holy Spirit to the hearts of the teens of Scotland. Simply put, we have been broken for the nation of Scotland. We are confident that God has called us to go and we want to be obedient to His voice.

Our missions trip to the community of Galashiels, Scotland will begin June 23^rd and end July 3^rd. These days will be spent serving the Church and city of Galashiels as well as performing with our ministry teams in the evenings. I will be overseeing our music team as well as our beats team. My heart is stirred when I think of what God might do in the hearts of our team and those that we serve.

As is the case with any short term missions trip, I find myself in need of financial support. The cost of the trip is $1750 and I still have several hundred dollars to go to meet that need. I had decided at one point in the past couple months that I would not ask for support. I wanted to make it on my own. But God has been convicting me of my pride lately and I see how trying to do this without help is an attempt to hide the shame of being in need. (It is an amazingly freeing thing to confess to God that you are in need) In addition, I saw that my pride robs you of an opportunity to give and be blessed. So please, if you can, give. (make checks out to Bethel Church and put my name on the memo line)

Let me conclude with a lesson from Braveheart. Many people couldn't stomach the violence of this movie. It's no surprise. The battle scenes are vividly grotesque. Images of the pain and reality of war are burned into the memory of those who watch it. But nothing we could ever see in a movie can do justice to the spiritual violence that rages against the freedom of humanity. We do not fight with broadsword, bow and fist, but with prayers, petitions, and trust in the God who has already defeated the enemy. Please join me in prayer as we fight for the freedom of Scotland.

Crying freedom,

Chris Judd

Bethel Church

132 Kirkland Rd.

Chehalis, WA 98532

Alonely

Sun, 27 May 2007 22:57:07 GMT

In my life I have been bad at being lonely. A report card would show that I have a tendency towards medicating the pain of loneliness with hollow attempts at intimacy with the fairer gender. Pain has lead to more pain and so it goes...

Loneliness happens. Sometimes it comes on you like a autumn chill, unannounced and bitter. This is the perfect relationship that tanks in a moment and hearts are crushed. Sometimes it comes slowly and creeps at you as you wait in agony. This is the diagnosis of cancer and the 5 years of slowly losing a friend. Finally, something feels pulled out of you when they are gone.

Loneliness happens in close proximity to others too. I've heard it said that a crowd can be the loneliest place to be and I think that can be true. A husband and wife can sleep in the same bed every night and feel a loneliness that burns in their bones. Loneliness happens to single children and the middle kid in a family of 5. Loneliness happens to the most popular kid in school when his dad won't recognize his acheivements. Loneliness happens to a forty-something man who reallizes he has spent his whole life chasing the thing that he thought would make him happiest only to reallize that it wouldn't satisfy the loneliness in his soul. Loneliness happens to a newlywed bride who finds out her husbands' deep hidden secrets.

I feel like I am on this journey of attacking loneliness before it can attack me. I am by no means alone; I have great friends. But I sleep alone and it is good. One day I hope to have a good wife who loves me but I don't want her to love me so that I'm not alone. Far to many lovers get intwined because of mutual loneliness. Thus, relationships are coping mechanisms for this all-surpassing fear of loneliness.

I want to worship God with my loneliness. I don't want to begrudgingly drag my feet through this season. I want to learn to lean on the Everlasting Arms rather than try to prop myself up with less wild lovers. When you are allowed to see it for what it is, loneliness is a thrilling adventure really. It is an invitation to a powerful and intimate relationship with Jesus alone. It is not glamourous and it won't sell books but I think it might be exactly what I need so I can be the man of God He desires me to be.

So I will call this joy. James tells me to. Pure joy. This is a trial that brings perseverance and maturity perhaps like no other.

For that I am grateful.

Bruce Lee and the power of Jesus

Fri, 01 Dec 2006 06:25:58 GMT

I was leaning on the piano in the front of our sanctuary when Danny, one of our youth leaders came up next to me. Danny is one of the funniest people I know and we always have lots of laughs when we get together. After a good bear hug, he leaned on the piano and winced in pain.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I think I may have just broken my wrist," he said, half laughing.

I grabbed his wrist and half sarcastically said, "In Jesus name, be healed." And I let go of his wrist. I said, "How is it?" fully believing that the prayer I had just offered was more worthy of lightening bolts than an answer.

He kind of rotated it a bit. Then he looked at me funny and said, "that's wierd...the pain is completely gone."

We kind of stood there laughing in amazement for a while. He kept rotating his wrist. I kept saying, "Did that really just happen?"

He went on to tell me that he was in the foyer trying to master his Bruce Lee 3-inch punch on another youth worker when he hurt his wrist.

Everything about this interaction was strange. From how the injury occured to how it was healed was unorthodox, to say the least.

Mom says I shouldn't say Jesus' name sarcastically. I think I believe her now.

Trust

Fri, 01 Dec 2006 06:23:14 GMT

Every sunday night there is a group of folks that meet at my house and we discuss important issues pertaining to the life of faith. We talk long and hard about Jesus and grace and the cross. We are reading through "the Ragamuffin Gospel" by Brennan Manning, and using it as a catalyst for our discussion. I've read the book many times and am amazed at how convicting it continues to be. It reveals to me that I must continue to recognize my true state before the cross of Christ. Here are a couple thoughts:

1. I guess I always believed that as I grow in Christ, my sin would decrease, thus my need for Him would decrease. You know, as my sins are conquered by the blood of Christ, my need for forgiveness in Him would also decrease. This way I can be less of a burden to Him. This way I can be a more productive tool in building the Kingdom.

I have come to reallize that viewing myself as a tool in God's Kingdom neglects his design for relationship with His children. God is, above all, our Abba. He is the father who loves His kids and is conquering the world to win them back. Forgiveness is not a means to an end of making me a dutiful soldier for Christ, it is an invitation to a friendship. The need for forgiveness will not diminish my need for Him because He is the source of my life and my hope. To think that we could outgrow our need for him is as if a flower told the sun it didn't need light any longer. Our need for His love is perpetual, surpassing time or circumstance.

2. The word "recognize" stuck in my brain tonight. Our need to recognize our sinfullness is essential in our growth as believers. When I fail to recognize and examine my life as exposed by the cross (thanks D Webb), I fail to recognize my need for Him. Folks in the holiness movement get worked up in a tizzy when people talk to much about grace because they want us to talk about how to change our behavior. And it is a shame because the only way our behavior will truly change is by being saturated in His grace. Manning says that repentance is not what we do to earn forgiveness but it is what we do because we have been forgiven. When we recognize that we have been forgiven through no merit of our own, that changes us. We fail to believe this and that is why we fail so often to see it lived out. That doesn't make it any less true.

3. Comparing is a bad thing and I think God hates it. I compare myself to my friends. I envy their lives. I covet their ability to ward off the temptation that I fall prey to. I feel condemned when they talk about their struggles when I know mine sound way worse than theirs. I fail to trust God that He is all I need. I'm concerned that people won't like me if they really knew what I battle everyday. God is working transparency into me but I usually go half-way; telling half-truths to satiate my conscience, not obeying Jesus' command to live in the light.

But this morning, we sang a simple, old hymn, and for some reason it just about wrecked me. He's all I need, He's all I need, Jesus is all I need.

I reallized that it is true. My white knuckling and trying to live up to my own expectations is robbing me of the joy of my Father's love. Instead of the seductive voice guilt and shame, I heard a gentle voice whisper, I will be faithful to complete the good work in you, son. Trust.

Confidence

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 14:48:06 GMT

I woke up this morning to a beautiful day that screams the glory of God. And after talking last night in our young adult small group about worship and wonder I had to spend some time this morning just basking in the morning sun; quieting my heart and letting God speak. I could not get this verse out of my mind. It is in regards to something a gal in the group shared about the tendency we have of reluctantly asking for forgiveness with the knowledge (or fear) that we will sin again. This verse speaks to that:

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens,Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." -Hebrews 4:14-16

The line that kept running through my head was "approach the throne of grace with confidence." Confidence. Because Jesus is who he said he was (sinless), we can approach his throne with confidence that his grace is sufficient for our sin. It's a confidence in who He is, not who we are. Confidence is not arrogance...we do not demand grace, we ask humbly. Confidence is not the opposite of humility either. Sometimes I come into God's presence beating myself up for my sin so that he won't have to. This may sound bold but I think that God is disgusted when we impose our own sense of justice on ourselves that neglects his grace. Sometimes our most judgemental thoughts can be of ourselves. The perfectionist Christian is the most tortured soul in the Kingdom because he is the one who does not know the joy of receiving God's gift of forgiveness. Perfectionism is selfishness disguised as virtue. Perfectionists own their righteousness and continually ignore God's compelling love that asks us to let his righteousness be ours. Perfectionists spend their lives living for God as if they don't need him.

And as much as I wish I was immune from this, this is the daily battle I face. Not because I think i'm so good on my own, but because my flesh wants me to quit needing God. My flesh tells me that the appropriate response to sin is self-pity, self-hatred, and self-deprivation. All things self. And God's truth says to approach the throne of grace with confidence in who He is so that we may receive mercy and find grace.

Righteousness and J dubs

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 13:23:23 GMT

"I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!" Galatians 2:21

I just had a very pleasant conversation on my front doorstep with a lady named Tina. When the doorbell rang I looked at our driveway to see which car had pulled up but there was no car which led me to believe I was about to embark on a journey with a religious nut. I opened the door and was greeted by a very kind face holding a bible and a "Watchtower" publication. My suspicions were confirmed.

She began asking me about a verse in the bible that spoke about the end times. "Does that make you wonder?" she asked. "Sure," I said. "Do you read the bible?" she asked. "I sure do," I said. "Well, good then you know that the book of James talks about how faith without works is inneffective.." and she rattled off several more prooftexts about our lives being proof to the world that we are Christians.

I told her that I agreed with her that our lives should point to Christ and His righteousness. Our behavior should change as we are regenerated by Christ. I was scouring my memory to come up with a good verse that refutes works righteousness and surprisingly I could not come up with one. I know this conversation well and have argued these points with legalistic Christians who use slightly less overt language than the J dubs.

Our conversation ended and I went for my bible. I don't feel bad that I couldn't blast her with some of Paul's words or Jesus' teachings. But I have a feeling she'll be back and I'll invite her in and we'll talk about exactly what righteousness is.

The righteousness that we claim as sons and daughters of God is a gift from God. Paul says in Romans 1:17 that in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, one that is by faith. Faith is not a deed or a work. Because God will measure us against the righteousness of Christ at the judgement, we have no hope but the blood of Jesus. Jesus seals our salvation with his sacrifice on the cross when we place our faith in him. Outside of the cross, there is no hope for salvation. We won't be measured against how the person next to us lived. Our behavior does not get us closer to God. But God has initiated a real relationship with us that defies our attempts at attaining our own righteousness. His grace ushers us into a life where we know our sinfulness and his righteousness and we rejoice because he has imparted that to us.

People who are slaves to works righeousness attempt to steal the gift of salvation from God and horde it for themselves. It is a futile attempt though. They attempt to rob God of his very nature: that of a giving Father. For some reason, to receive the gift of salvation through faith would unravel their universe. And in convincing others of this false theology they are making Christ's sacrifice nothing (see Gal. 2:21 above).

God loves to give. Let your pride die and receive his gift with a glad heart.

A week

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 14:56:16 GMT

I have had an amazing, action-packed week. There is honestly not enough time for me to be frilly with what happened so I'll just list some stuff off.

1. I preached to our youth ministry on wednesday night about honor. We got an unexpectedly large summer crowd...and they listened! Even the squirrely kids. I was blessed to get the opportunity to speak but feel very rusty on the homiletics. I wish I had a more routine outlet for the the things God is showing me in scripture but for now blogging will have to do.

2. Painted my friend Mitch's house and thoroughly enjoy peeking in the window throughout the day at his little 1 year old boy Jack. I make faces and he stares at me before showing a toothless smile. I love kids. I want to be an excellent dad. It's not just babies...even when I am with my youth kids (though I want to ring their necks sometimes) I am just so excited at the thought of being a dad and advancing the Kingdom through my family.

3. I left friday for our church's "Father/son campout" at cat creek campground up by Mt. Adams. For those of you who have never been up in that area, you are truly missing out. I took about a 15 mile trail ride on our Yamaha XT 350 that took me from 3000 ft. in elevation to 6300 feet. I rode through alpine meadows full of lupine, shooting stars, and paintbrush (which is the flower that my parents used in their wedding...the week before their wedding they went up by Mt. Adams and picked thousands of these little red flowers). I got off my bike at every corner to breath that air and feel the presence of God around me like a heavy quilt. It was worship.

3. I pulled into church on sunday morning and Dewey (my trusty subaru outback) gave out on me. Oil was spraying everywhere. Smoke. The whole bit. At this point you should know that something my dad did not pass on to me was automotive skills. I know how to check and change my oil but that's about it. So I was planning on a AAA tow to the shop and probably a 500 dollar fix to my car (which I don't have). A bunch of the guys from the church took a look at it and said they thought it might be the timing belt cover gasket. Anyhoo, a great family volunteered their shop and tools for us to fix it. So Eric, Jimmy, and Taylor have been working on it the past two evenings and I stand around and watch. I did change my headlight so I got my hands a little greasy with that. It felt great to be in the garage with the guys talking about tools and smelling the aroma of Mopar in the air.

4. I lead a small group at my house every sunday night. I feel most alive when I am with this group of 20 somethings discussing faith and doubt and love. It grounds me. We talked about passion quite a bit in this last session and what passion looks like. I concluded that a walk with the creator of the universe and the savior of mankind should produce passion in us. Maybe passion doesn't look like it does on TBN but if we really reallize what we've been given through this invitation to "come" we would not live passionless lives. It would burn in our bones like it did for Jeremiah.

5. I'm about to embark on a journey further into "the green lumpy places," as Donald Miller would say. I will be in leavenworth with my family for the week enjoying some Bavarian sights and alpine scenery. I will hike into my favorite lake in the world and catch dozens of beautiful cutthroat trout. Again, I will breath that air and know that God has created these moments for me. A little alone time with my Dad who knows me so well and knows that there is something about a mans heart that needs altitude and the glory of God to better see who he is and who He is.

Charm vs. Honor

Tue, 25 Jul 2006 04:33:49 GMT

I talk to God about romance sometimes. Okay, more than sometimes. In fact, even though I know God doesn't get annoyed with his creation talking to him I somehow picture God giving me a, "here we go again," look whenever I bring up the subject of romance. He sort of hunches over in his throne and puts his elbows on his knees and plops his face in the cradle of his hands and listens to me blabber on and on about what I want from my wife.

"Now, I must emphasize this Jesus...this is important," I say. "Number 37 on my list of things I need from a wife is that she must be a proficient fly tier. Not only will she fly fish avidly like we talked about in numbers 2 through 5 but she will also tie her own flies. You know the number of hairs on my head so i know you are into details like this. So if you could make it happen that would be great. On to number 38, concerning views on social security reform..."

I'm joking of course but I have been having some serious talks with The Riz concerning the future Mrs. Judd. Honestly, until this past year my thoughts on marriage have been pretty short-sighted. You know, the whole, "better to marry than to burn," mentality. One might say I was "feeling the singes" metaphorically speaking. So this mindset lead me to look at finding a wife like scratching an itch instead of finding a beautiful bride whose heart I capture and win with honor.

But Jesus has been speaking to me about who she will be and who I need to be win her heart. Really, it comes down to two words- honor and charm. Since I was a little guy wearing yellow and blue striped socks (see picture) people have told me I had charm. That always seemed like a cool compliment. Charm, it seemed to me, was a skill that could come in handy in a tight spot. So I developed it. I wanted to be prince Charming because the chicks were always falling for him.

What I seemed to leave out of this whole equation was a scriptural view of charm. In particular, Proverbs 31:30 seems to speak pretty candidly of it: "Charm is deceptive..." (Ironically, this passage is talking about what a righteous babe looks like). Charm is manipulation gone wild. Charm is a cop-out; the lazy cousin of true love.

I used charm all the time. I could charm my teachers into letting me off without consequences when I didn't do my homework on time which produced a habit of not being prepared. I could charm girls into thinking I liked them so they would fulfill my selfish, and often lustful desires. I even thought I was charming God for a while because I was manipulating myself into thinking that I was singing enough songs to him to make up for all the sinning I was doing. I was deceiving myself. Charm became my main coping mechanism for life's problems.

Jesus spoke to me as clearly as I've heard him speak concerning this issue. While thinking about how in the world I am going to win the heart of the girl of my dreams, God spoke. He said, "she won't be won with charm. She will be won with honor."

Honor? This is a word that is clumsy in my vocabulary. It is contrasted greatly with charm in that charm is a tool to get what I want and honor is unselfish and giving. This word has been changing how I interact with everyone. First, I want to honor God and give my life for him because I need him more than anything else. Second, to honor those in spiritual leadership over me so there is a foundation of trust in our relationship. Third, to honor my parents and reflect the love they have shown me. The list could go on and on but it basically comes down to love. Honor is a dimension of love that I never considered prior to a couple weeks ago.

So what will it look like to win a womans heart with honor? I think it will consist of honoring her parents and asking her father for permission to pursue a romantic relationship with his daughter. Also, to make a commitment to him that I won't introduce the physical dimension of the relationship until she wears a ring. To honor her will be to speak life to the dreams that God has given her and affirm her identity as a child of God. I will honor her with honesty about my life and struggles. I will honor her by praying for her.

I guess the reason I share this is to call you men and women of God to honor. God's image is most clearly seen in unified marriages and a unified church. Both are in desperate need of purification. Our world needs to see Jesus more than ever and I think it begins with us honoring God and others. By God's grace we can affect that change.

...and the pursuit of happiness

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 22:27:16 GMT

There was a time in my adolescence where I wanted to wear all black clothes and listen to depressing music all the time. In common vernacular, this is known as "emo." I was halfway there with my music selection but could never quite fully commit to the black girls jeans that were essential to the look. But I had the thoughts of an emo kid, let me tell you.

The most pervasive thoughts centered around suffering and how essential it is to be truly miserable in this life. I don't even know why this thought was so romanticized in my head but it was there. Honestly, something deep within me has always wanted to believe that...that pain and suffering are where we experience life painted in it's most vivid colors. It's why I am drawn to dark movies and sad stories. Painful emotions usually inspire music and art with so much more depth than happiness. Just look at which movies win film festivals--almost exclusively it will be movies with strong themes of suffering and pain. Happiness is portrayed in our culture as weak, temporary, and unfulfilling. I think I am learning why.

Every pursuit of happiness, save one, will just let us down. Our society buys, sells, and trades happiness and pleasure in enormous quantities but it is weak, temporary, and largely unfulfilling. Hollywood floods us with stories of lonely people finding what they were looking for in romance. "And they live happily ever after..." But we don't. Our romances fail to bring us lasting joy. In fact, they often cause more pain than joy. And in these times of discontent and pain we have to continually convince ourselves that this is what we need to be happy--this person, or this job, or this toy, or this pleasure.

So, for many Christians, we have sworn off the pursuit of happiness as being sinful. In essence, we have bought into a sort of ascetic Christianity that condemns the hedonistic culture we live in. And while it is true that we should not seek pleasure in unhealthy ways, we have lost the fact that the pursuit of happiness is essential to the Christian life.

Now before you pain-loving Christians come to my house to give me a knuckle sandwich, let me explain. John Piper takes the Westminster Shorter Catachism's question: what is the chief end of man? and he changes the answer with one word. Piper says, "The chief end of man is to glorify God BY (not "and") enjoying him forever." In essence, we glorify God the most by finding pleasure in him. He is pleased with us most when we are pleased with him most. We find our joy in walking in obedience and in his presence.

Mark Driscoll touched on this subject on sunday and I just can't get it out of my head. I'm working a graveyard at greenhill tonight and I have spent the last hour or so looking at my friends' myspaces and this thought kept coming back to me. So many are looking for happiness and dissillusioned to this desire. Most have pretty much just given up hope of ever being truly happy. I think as Christians we have reason to hope. I think we have the only reason to hope...Jesus. He lived a life full of joy. That's not to say he didn't encounter trials. On the contrary, he experienced more than any of us ever will. But the Bible says that Jesus endured the pain of the cross for one reason: JOY! He took pleasure in glorifying the Father. He didn't live a life of submission for the sake of being miserable...he did it for joy.

This truth has been kicking my butt. What if I truly lived for joy? What if I pursued happiness with even more passion? Could it be true? What kind of impact could that have on the people that I am trying to reach for Christ? I think most people look at Christians' lives and can't figure out why you'd want to be one. All you do is go to church and never have any fun. We tend to be a bunch of Ned Flanders', happy with how pretty our churches are and how healthy our families appear. It's hardly the life Jesus wants us to live.

The pursuit of happiness is the noblest aim for our lives but it will only be found in pleasing our Father. Obedience and joy are not antonyms, they are synonyms.

I think it's pretty cool.

Follow.

Fri, 26 May 2006 23:28:36 GMT

Okay, I've now re-written this blog for the fourth time because of rabbit trails. Maybe a fifth is on the way. I wouldn't be surprised.

Jesus asked people to follow him and 12 did. As I was reading Velvet Elvis, by Rob Bell, I was struck by the background Bell gives to this concept.

Jesus was known as a young man with exceptional grasp of Hebrew scriptures (such a rebel...runs away from home as a boy to wow his teachers with his grasp of Torah). He's referred to as "Rabbi" several times in the gospel accounts. He was a well respected teacher of the law as we can see from his use of "you have heard it said...I say..." People listened to him. In other words, he had clout.

His disciples were dropouts. The Hebrew education system was run with Nazi-like discipline (bad irony, I know) and young boys had to memorize all of the scriptures at a young age. Those with a grasp of the application of the holy writings would continue in their education. Others who weren't as sharp would drop out and get a job or apprenticeship in their family business.

When Jesus calls these dropouts, they drop everything and run for him. Immediately. I always thought that it was because of the disciples' great faith that they did this. Really, they were probably just pooping their pants because a great Rabbi was giving them a chance. Every young boy in that culture aspired to learn under a great Rabbi but usually only the brightest kids got the green light. Jesus forgoes natural born leaders and chooses the guys who scored a janitor spot on their high school employment test.

I really don't understand why. It wasn't their knowledge. It wasn't their charisma. It wasn't their great faith. It wasn't their self-control.

Hmmmm....

Come to think of it, there's no mention of their looks in the Gospels so it might just be that he picked the most handsome (cuz we all know that sometimes the most handsome looking fellas play with a few short of 52) but somehow I think that might not be the case.

Maybe he just wanted to show that God doesn't view us with the same grading scale that we judge each other with. Jesus makes the requirements for a follower pretty simple..."Will you follow?"

It's my tendency to make my faith complex with a nebulous array of rings to jump through. Jesus calls over and over again to me...

Follow.

Run.

Fall.

Walk.

Crawl.

Give.

Weep.

Love.

Follow.

It is a call in this moment as clear today as on the shores of Galilee. The dropouts are you and me. We are the "not-good-enoughs" who've been passed over for someone with leadership skills, bigger muscles, and a sexy wife. And Jesus shouts through our humiliation and shame and says, "I pick you. Follow me."